The apocalypse has already occurred. We were just too goddamned busy and amused when it happened. It came like a thief in the night, or an incredibly sneak meth head scavenging for copper wiring. Culture died decades ago. It coughed up blood like an elderly TB victim. That night we were busy watching American Idol. Too busy jacking off to Carie Underwood as she sung about Jesus. Before then we were concerned about the spread of AIDS, the spread of faggotry and mohawks. Hell if I know when exactly culture died, but I damn well know it did. Civilization continues as a shadow of its former self. The media propagated today is the zombie of culture, the walking dead is already feasting on our brains in the form of sensational news coverage and reality television. Religion is no exception. It continues as a zombie, railing with bitter anger about this shameful world, swinging its dick around in self-importance, ignoring the odor and decay rot hanging off its tip.
We always thought the apocalypse would be like the movies. Natural disasters, reanimated corpses, nuclear holocaust. We sure as hell laughed at the postmodernists and their pretentious jargon. Never noticing they were diagnosing our current state of delirium and God forsaken madness we had descended into. Prophets foaming at the mouth, talking about simulacrums and transhumanism, the fuck did they know? Here we are in Disneyland, absurdity in bright colors selling us the newest Ipad. Asking where we went wrong renders us no answers or solutions, and who would give a damn anyway? That’s the thing about truth and morality, whether it exists or not, the world doesn’t give a flying fuck about it either way. Kaczynski tried to tell us. Linkola was straight about it. Society has become obsessed with life, youthfulness, fertility…although lacking any hint of virility and heroism. Those are virtues left in history books and art museums. If we ignore the destructive aspect of nature long enough, perhaps it will go away, or given enough time, maybe we can master it. That’s what the human species is all about right? Becoming master over nature, proving its superiority, its Zeus arrogance of reason, that trumpet blowing tune of idiocy. We scared ourselves shitless with World War II; the rise of totalitarianism, genocides, atomic bombs, human experiments, eugenics…that rough beast has been born, no matter how much we deny that.
We were warned and we didn’t listen. This is what I would like to say. The truth is we weren’t warned. and frankly we never listened to anyone, not even one another. Hell, usually not even our own thoughts. It is cliche to say we were warned, as if there had been a life saving truth if only we had heeded to its wisdom. No, there was never the chance of salvation or prevention. Pathetic, that man would then reason that if we have no chance, then we must be victims. Always hunting for a new form of victimization, even after the world has gone to shit and only desolate ruins remain. Man looks for something to blame; an entity, an unjust fate, faulty reasoning. There is nothing to blame. There are no victims. The universe was and always will be indifferent..Humanity was a cosmic sideshow, full of morbid irony, a self-righteous fluke of evolution. No matter how highly it glorified itself, with its Promethean praise of science and reason, or the egoism that we are special creations of a Divine Entity, full of piss is what it was. At a deeper level we knew this, we always knew this, but we needed something to help us get by. The thought of existence being meaningless, humanity being an evolutionary wrong turn, fuck, who can blame them for spinning a mythology or narrative to cope? I certainly don’t blame them, myself included. It is how our over sized dysfunctional brains were hardwired, be that ugly or pretty.
Ironically it is how I am maintaining my sanity after the madness that struck us, and surviving in this gutted afterbirth. Perhaps there is some shred of naive optimism inside that led to me keeping this journal. After I am dead and long gone, maybe there is the chance this journal will be discovered. This is the bullshit I sell myself at least, for the sake of meaning, the sake of sanity. Of course this is what got us into this mess to begin with. Our unending and everlasting optimism, a cruel sadist if there has ever been one. We divorced ourselves from death, from suffering, coddled ourselves in comfort and security. Culture was built on amusement, on entertainment, on consuming, on gluttony. It wasn’t a culture, it was factory farming, men made into profit. Close our eyes, birth children to be our opiate, speak about hope, universalism, human rights…yeah, show me a goddamn human right out here in the wilderness, in no man’s land. What a shit fairy tale we made up in our head, and crusading it like it was the balls of Christ himself. All the while corporations used this banner to further capitalist gains; the wealthy countries exploit the poor, because patriotic jackasses and liberal fags like to buy worthless shit for cheap. This isn’t an anti-capitalist rant, or a tree hugging sermon. There is no masturbatory COEXIST bumper sticker around. This is the fact that civilization made nature its whore, and eventually it caught up with us, culling the excessive and weak. The cancer spread until it could not spread anymore, then it began eating itself. This isn’t new to us. We have seen what happens when a species without any natural predator breeds without regulation, without limit. It isn’t a mystery. Humanity doesn’t just breed, it consumes more than any other species, and its hunger has no limit. Leftists preached for socialism, for heavier regulations, for Green Peace and PETA agenda, compassion, cooperation; little more than sappy egalitarianism dressed up in colorful ideology. It is a satire of the organic, an insult to the nature they fervently praised. The Left was a tool, a pawn played by profiteering powers who knew to fuel their opposition which better defined what was opposed. ‘Let them hate us, and the world will see how much they need us.’
‘God is dead’, that infamous statement was the deathrattle of culture. Tradition ceased to be the central authority. Not that fundamentalist tripe commonly known as tradition, which is materialist ritual, empty of essence. Tradition, the fire within culture that each generation stokes, a metaphysical vein that flows from generation to generation. Religion, the pallid Christianity that existed, gave way to secularization. The Nation took on the theological traits of Church. It became the central logos which gave its people purpose and meaning. The rise of fascism, nationalism…short lived as civilization passed into the senility of consumerism and democracy. Humanity faced an existential crisis. A vacuum remained where ‘God’ once was. Religion continued to thrive as a mere zombie, a hollow shell of what it once was, a joke really. Humanity decided to worship itself. Behold the glory of reason, of science, of secular humanism! The Christian virtues of compassion, love, salvation, humility were castrated and made into sentimental commodities in this new world. They became sappy distortions of their original form. Be redeemed by casting off the sins of discrimination and differentiation. Be saved by casting off the sins of inequality and harshness. Step into the light of enlightenment; one humanity, one world, one love. Let optimism and cheerfulness overthrow the horrors of pessimism. Eliminate the metaphysical ‘race’ within a people, within a culture, expunge it, and invade it with the joys of diversity.The heroic values of Paganism was usurped by the martyr values of Christianity, and these Christian martyr values were deformed and secularized into the new imperialistic ideology that spread. This ideology became the banner for consumerism and exploitation. By democracy, we mean covert plutocracy. By human rights, we mean potential market. By diversity, we mean sabotage. Stand against us and you are a heretic. Stand with us, and you are a crusader for humanity and justice. Under the guise of humanitarian rhetoric, wars can be sold and consumerism can be installed. Go forth and multiply.
With every movement, there is a counter movement, a reaction. It is weak and anemic to define ones stance by what one is against, or opposing. Of course this never stopped reactionists. In self-righteous zeal they condemned these liberal values as degenerate and blind. On their soapbox they spoke hate against the vile homosexuals and feminists. Their impotence ran as deep as their hatred. Disgruntlement brought them together, these Rightists whom stroked themselves with thoughts of solar races and nationalist revolutions. All of which they hated easily packaged into a boogyman agenda called ‘Cultural Marxism’, as pathetic and cowardly as the ‘Red Scare’. These Rightists, be they Christian or Pagan, Nationalists or Neocon, were as materialistic as the ones they condemned. Railing against those who reduce the world to strict materialism were the first to celebrate the color of ones skin and boast of their heterosexuality. The irony was rarely noticed, and the world never gave a damn about their sterile hatred. As self-righteous as the ones they opposed, they too knew the salvation of humanity was within their own pet ideology. But enough about a sickly minority that does not matter, although they be the philosophical descendants of far greater men, of which roll in their graves as their names are abused.
There was never a chance for redemption. There was never a salvation. No ideology could prevent nor save. No ideology contained a celestial truth. If only we had stopped seeking salvation, stop seeking utopia, but then what would man strive for, why would they continue to exist. This may sound like pessimistic dribble, and as I look around at the ruins, one could not blame me. The stench of rotting corpses, the daily scavenging for substance, the way men turn on one another once order breaks down, society collapses, revealing their Hobbesian nature which has lurked within, watching, waiting. Humanity done themselves in. It is as simple as that. We are a dying species, and soon to be extinct. It is possible reproduction will occur, the cancer revived, rebuilding a new world, worshiping new gods. My only hope, if I dare use that cursed word, the name of a demon, is that humanity rid itself of salvation. This concept that is a parasite living within each birthed fanaticism. It is the heart, that which makes one believe they hold salvation, their truth will lead to redemption, their truth will lead to a utopian tomorrow, their truth will lead to a spiritual renaissance…man never fell from grace, because man was never in grace, and no amount of parasitical salvation will restore man to a celestial paradise. Existence without the thought of salvation is a species confronting its authentic state.
The Beast has been subdued with humanitarian lullabies and progressive hopes. No more. After today The Beast will awaken and begin culling the masses. There will be no exceptions. No moronic mythologies of master races, chosen people, or redeeming religions. The Beast will spread through every country, infecting continents, bringing down governments and civilizations like termites to a decrepit structure. This shouldn’t sound awful. The Beast will only make manifest what has already occurred metaphysically. The Beast will manifest what has already eaten out the insides of humanity. The apocalypse happened decades ago, nuking the metaphysical, leaving neon ruins, presided over by the golden Mammon demanding sacrifices to its ego. This Mammon has replaced the Jehovah God, although truly there is no difference between the two. The Beast will be the physical manifestation that is long overdue. Nature is about balance, and it is time for imbalance to be remedied. There is a cure for this cancer. This cure lies deep within the earth, a cthonic Pandora’s box, and I have been chosen to be that messiah of extinction. And upon this cradle of disease and sterility, to be let loose, are the infamous last words of true salvation, as spoken by Zapffe, “Know yourselves – be infertile and let the earth be silent after ye.”